My Husband and I Weren’t Soulmates

My husband and I weren't soulmates

People would like to think of the widow grieving from the loss of her soulmate. My story is not so happy but is likely more realistic for many women.

My husband and I  weren’t soulmates.

In fact, we teetered on the brink of divorce for the last ten years of our married life and pretty much lived parallel lives in the same household for the children.

We had actually decided to divorce when he was diagnosed and quickly died of cancer. My children are early adults under 30.  They are conflicted about our unstable married relationship.  They grieve for the loss of their father, resent that we had a toxic undercurrent to our household., are angry at me that I couldn’t make it better.

I am dealing with loss at many, many levels.

This group of women let me know that I am not the only one to have lived a complicated life.  They empathize without judgement in ways that my family and married friends cannot.

It’s a safe place where I am heard, nurtured.  I can relax.  These women help me focus on the future and are showing me the way.  That’s where I’m headed….and I appreciate their help.

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