Resting or Being Stuck?

Resting or Being Stuck

There are times when resting is healing.  There are times when resting turns into becomes stuck.

Stuck is a control issue.  Stress causes a sense of powerlessness so our minds go into a heavy-duty control mode.  Holding tight to what is known feels safer.  To let go might feel like powerless chaos.  Our minds trick us into thinking that by holding on, we are in control of something we cannot control, like the loss of a loved one. It takes conscious choice in dealing with reality.  Control is actually letting go.


  • Has self-preservation turned into self-absorption?
  • Who am I really?  Am I extremely intolerant of others response to me?
  • Do I demand sympathy? Do I have difficulty with anything new?
  • St Francis prayer:  “Accept the things you cannot change and have the courage to change the things you can.”


“If There’s Anything I Can Do…How to Help Someone who has been Bereaved” by Caroline Doughty, White Ladder Press, Britain, 2007 (insight and suggestions for helping widows with young children)

“The Art of Condolence, what to write, what to say, what to do at a time of loss” by Leonard Zunin, MD and Hilary Stanton Zunin, Harper Collins Publishers, 1991.

“When a Spouse Dies, What I didn’t Know about helping myself and others through grief,” by Barbara R Wheeler, DSW, Plain Sight Publishing, 2012.“Transitions, Making sense of life’s changes” by William Bridges, Lifelong books, 2004.

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